Giving Up Would Be Too Easy

this is where I will start!
one day I made coffee. it was hella good but couldn't drink it all before work, so I snaked my roomies Keg Mug, filled it and off to work I go. Later in the evening Lance sees it and repeated points and laughs...i get my cam out and document is non professional reaction...as so...
I understand that my coffee cup for the day is, well.... "nervous large" but....Lance...don't clown me!And it was coffee with Splenda...not sugar. word.
That evening I decided it is time for a drink. Thanks for hooking it up Kim! you're a doll. That was a enough liquid for one day.So I head home and get into the building unharmed...when I hear "KJFIOICNOIEFNEWFOFEFMIEOWIJ"in my right ear. "What the FUX "I say to myself...
I hear it again in the hallway of my building this time it sucker punches me in my right ear...I think I'm down for the count....I touch my ear and check for blood from my temple because...well i was just attacked! There is no light in the hall and I start swinging...."bzzzidweareeasesesa" it hits me in my forehead! I catch it's punch and throw it to the ground like it's a worthless little b*tch. I knocked him out cold....MOTHER EFFER! I turn on the lights to see who the hell it is.....